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Credit: Ronnie LaFianza
-We kick things off with a video package of the happenings of Victory Road.
-Tonight, Beer Money and MCMG face off in a Ladder match (I think, they really rushed through the screens). Taylor Wilde and Sarita are going to face off (I think), and Jay Lethal (#5) does battle with Jeff Hardy (#2).
And here are the updated Top Ten.
#10 - Rob Terry
#9 - The Pope
#8 - Kurt Angle
#7 - Hernandez
#6 - AJ Styles
#5 - Jay Lethal
#4 - Samoa Joe
#3 - Mr. Anderson
#2 - Jeff Hardy
#1 - Abyss
(Alright, so who in the hell voted Abyss #1. Also, remember when Desmond Wolfe was #1? Didn\'t think so.)
-And here comes Abyss. He\'s got a big thing of meat and the 2X4. Abyss says they have a plan for RVD, that involves him and his girl. It\'s a plan like nothing you have ever experienced before, and it\'s beyond extreme. Beyond anything you\'ve ever done in the business, ever. And tonight, Abyss is going to share that plan with Rob. He\'s first awaiting some final instructions from them. Abyss introduces us to his girl, Janice. She\'s beautiful, tall, sophisticated, sexy and sharp. But Rob, there\'s a dark side to Janice, a side that like pain. He starts beating the meat with the weapon, and it snaps. He\'s now biting it. She\'s also one helluva cook. But don\'t worry RVD, because before it\'s all over and done with, you\'re going to realize just what a bitch Janice is. Alrighty then.
-In the back we see Taylor Wilde and Sarita brawling. Sarita is throwing Taylor repeatedly into walls. Taylor fights back and throws Sarita into some stuff. This is kind of dragging. Sarita says she\'s always been better than her. Sarita ducks a chair shot and they keep brawling. Armbar by Sarita and we\'re heading to commercial. Is there really no one backstage to break this thing up?
-We\'re back and Sarita and Taylor are fighting around the crowd.
Match 1 : Taylor Wilde vs Sarita - Street Fight
Huge chair shot by Taylor to the head of Sarita. Taylor starts yelling at Sarita. Sarita splashes something in Taylor\'s face, and she\'s blinded. Sarita crawls under the ring and Taylor doesn\'t know where she went. Sarita comes back out and attack Taylor from behind. Sarita throws Taylor head first into the steps. Sarita takes the padding off of the ground, exposing the concrete. Taylor tries to fight back but Sarita puts her in a front face lock. Sarita goes for a slam, but Taylor counters out and slams Sarita into the padded flooring. More brawling from these two. Sarita tries to get in the ring but Taylor isn\'t letting her. Kick by Sarita and she gets onto the apron. Taylor grabs a chair and throws it at an oncoming Sarita. Sarita has a pretty nice bruise on her elbow. Taylor throws her arm first into the steel post. And then into the steps. Running dropkick by Taylor sends Sarita over the guardrail. Sarita grabs someones pocket book and starts choking Taylor with it. Hope she doesn\'t get fired. The ref calls for it to end as Taylor passes out.
Winner : Sarita (Really chaotic brawl. It wasn\'t bad, just seemed really random)
-RVD is walking in the back. He says that he doesn\'t get scared by threats, but rises to the challenge. He asks if Abyss is gonna be ready to use that thing tonight.
-Ms. Tessmacher is on the back and on the phone, looking damn fine. Sweet success, finally. Kevin Nash walks in. He asks for Bischoff, but Tessmacher says he\'s not there. She asks if there\'\'s something she can help him with, and he says no. He walks back in and says that there actually is something. Ten o\'clock tonight, he\'ll be the last meeting of the night.
Match 2 : Brian Kendrick vs X-Division Champion Douglas Williams - I Quit match
Hey, isn\'t the hardcore PPV coming up next month? Why are we wasting all of these hardcore matches on free TV.
Kicks and forearms by Kendrick. Knee by Williams. Kendrick goes for a sleeper, but Williams gets to the ropes. Williams counters a boot in the corner and kicks Kendrick\'s leg. Forearm by Williams, and he locks in a chinlock. Kendrick with kicks in the corner to Williams. Williams comes back with forearm shots. Kendrick counters a slam and throws Williams into the corner. Sleeper attempt, but Williams backs Kendrick into the corner. More kicks by Kendrick, and he\'s now choking Williams. Williams refuses to quit. Catapult by Williams and he locks in the half crab. Kendrick gets to the ropes, and Williams breaks it. Knee in the corner by Williams. Suplex follows, and a gutwrench suplex connects. T-Bone by Williams. Kendrick refuses to quit. Williams gets out a glove and slaps Kendrick in the face with it before putting it on. European uppercut by Williams. Kendrick with some forearms, and a jumping gamengiri connects. Jumping kick, dropkick, diving dropkick all connect by Kendrick. Cobra Clutch attempt countered into a Chaos Theory attempt, but Kendrick counters and locks in the Cobra Clutch. Williams quits.
Winner : Brian Kendrick (Alright match here. It wasn\'t anything special, but it was a solid outing)
And here comes Kevin Nash. Kendrick is still in the ring. He says Nash is taking his time, and Nash chokeslams him. Nash grabs a mic and says he\'s so tired of Hogan and Bischoff dodging him. He can\'t find TV time here? When Kevin Nash dies, he\'ll never be replaced. There\'s only going to be one like him, 6 foot ten, built like a god. He\'s a legend. If he can\'t get our attention, he\'ll start taking out some of the young boys so they start paying attention. Nash goes for the Jakknife on Kendrick, and here comes Jeff Jarrett. He tells Kevin to relax, and that it\'s the last thing they need. Sting got suspended, does Nash want to be next. Nash asks what he\'s doing out here. Jarrett says Nash has a problem with Hogan and Bischoff just like Sting did. Look at who Hogan and Bischoff are getting behind these days, like Jay Lethal. Nash says all he did was come out here to make sure he got Bischoff and Hogans attention. Jarrett says he guesses it\'s business as usual. Kevin wants everybody\'s attention. Kevin\'s a glory hound. Nash agrees. Jarrett calls him an egotistical son of a bitch. Nash says there\'s a lot of people who would say he\'s the greatest worker in this business. HA. He looks in Jarrett\'s eyes and he\'s not to sure they fool him. Why would Jarrett be sticking up for Hogan and Bischoff? If Jarrett wants a problem with Nash, he\'s got it. As far as who the best worker is, stay tuned, and they\'ll find out.
-Nash is in the back. He says it\'s Jeff\'s company, some guys come in and take over, send him home, and now he\'s defending them? Probably around ten o\'clock tonight, he\'ll have all the answers he needs.
Match 3 : Desmond Wolfe (w/ Chelsea) vs TNA Global Champion Rob Terry vs Samoa Joe - Three Way match
We get a recap of Wolfe interfering in the tag match at Victory Road. Wolfe eating the pin is a given here.
Joe and Terry surround Wolfe. Magnus joins Tenay and Taz on commentary. Wolfe ducks a clothesline but runs into jabs by Joe. Both guys trade shot on Wolfe. Enzuigiri by Joe connects. Joe and Terry now trade shots. Kicks by Joe, and he hits the rolling legbar. Wolfe with a jumping elbow to Joe. Huge chop by Joe to Wolfe. Wolfe slams the arm of Joe into the mat. Wolfe now working on the leg of Terry. Wolfe fights Joe off and starts working on Terry again. Terry pushes Wolfe off, but gets hit with that running european uppercut. Joe\'s back in and takes it to Wolfe, but Wolfe lowbridges Joe to the outside. Knee drop by Wolfe to the back of Terry\'s leg. Wolfe goes for the figure four, but Terry pushes him off and Wolfe knocks Joe off the apron. Wolfe goes back after the leg, but Terry throws him off. Clotheslines by Terry follow. Huge backdrop connects. Jumping spin kick connects. Joe off the top with a diving leg lariat. Coquina Clutch to Wolfe. Wolfe taps.
Winner : Samoa Joe (Nothing bad here. I\'m really getting sick of Wolfe jobbing, but he didn\'t look half bad here)
Joe and Terry get face to face in the ring. Joe shows respect and then walks off.
-Flair says if we\'re watching TNA at this moment, he\'s going to make an announcement that\'s going to change everything, because he\'s Ric Flair, and he can.
Match 4 : Beer Money vs TNA World Tag Team Champions Motor City Machine Guns (never though I\'d write that) - Ladder match - Open Contract for Future Match Stipulation - Match 1 In Best of 5
I\'m dreading calling this. Beer Money attack the Guns from behind to start things off. Roode throws Sabin to the outside. Shelley counters a double backdrop attempt, but runs into double kicks. Double suplex attempt, but Sabin catches Shelley. Double dropkicks take out Beer Money. Double suicide dives by the Guns. Sabin grabs a ladder and brings it into the ring. Shelley goes to fight Storm off but Roode gets in. Storm pulls Sabin off the ladder and works him down in the corner. Storm leans the ladder in the corner. Shelley starts to fight back. Double kicks to the chest of Roode after they split the legs. They throw Roode into the ladder. Roode avoids an attatck by Sabin. Reverse atomic drop by Roode to Shelley, and Storm hits the russian leg sweep. Sabin with a boot to Rodoe in the corner. Beer Money catches Sabin in a double hip toss and crotch him on a ladder. Liked the innovation there. Storm starts to climb, but Shelley fights Roode off and pulls him down. Roode dropkicks the ladder into Shelley. Roode now starts to climb, but Shelley pulls him down. Forearms by Shelley. Storm hits Shelley in the gut with the ladder. Storm now grabbing another ladder. Roode pts the ladder on top of Shelley and Beer Money starts smashing him with the other ladder. Beer Money picks a ladder up and goes to take out Shelley with it, but he ducks and Sabin takes them out with a springboard missile dropkick to the ladder. Sabin hits Storm with the ladder in the corner. He tries to run up the ladder but fails. Knee by Sabin to Storm. Huge clothesline by Roode to Sabin turns him inside out. Roode starts to climb but Shelley takes him out with the ladder. Shelley leans on ladder from the ropes to the other ladder. Bulldog/Reverse STO combo by the Guns to Roode onto the ladder. Storm pulls Sabin to the outside. He then tips Shelley off the ladder and hits him with the backcracker. Storm puts the ladder on the ground. He sets Sabin up on the top. Storm goes for a suplerplex, but Sabin ties Storm to the tree of woe. Shelley puts the ladder up against Storm\'s face and Sabin hits the hesitation dropkick. Awesome. Tilt a whirl backbkrear by Roode. Shelley goes to backdrop Roode on a ladder on the outside, but he hangs on. Sabin jumps off the back of Shelley and dropkicks Roode onto it. Shelley with a double foot stomp on Roode and then he takes out Storm. Sabin with a plancha over the top to Roode (who was still on the ladder). Shelley slides under the ladder but Storm pushes it into his face. Sabin climbs the ladder but Storm meets him up there. The ladder is tipped over but both guys hold on. Shelley pushes Storm to the outside and Sabin\'s at the top. The ref gets taken out somehow. Roode gets knocked off the ladder by Sabin and grabs the contract. Storm takes out Sabin with the beer bottle and grabs the contract from Sabin. The ref sees it and this is over.
Winner : Beer Money (Holy fucking shit was this awesome. Easily could have been a PPV match. These two got plenty of time and put on what seemed like 20 minutes of action in about 10. This match was balls)
-We see Abyss in the back, beating a watermelon with Janice.
Match 5 : Matt Morgan vs D\'Angelo Dinero
Dinero\'s got some no thing that starts before his entrance that says \"Pope...Is...Pimpin\". Don\'t know if this was used at Victory Road, I\'m just letting you all know.
Dinero ducks Morgan and goes for a monkey flip, but Morgan pushes him off. Dinero with kicks and forearms. Dropkick to the knee, but Dinero runs into a goozle. Morgan throws Dinero into the corner. Rapid elbows by Morgan. Dinero ducks a clothesline but gets caught by Morgan. He slides out of a slam and dropkicks Morgan into the ropes. Morgan gets back up but Dinero hits him with a Codebreaker for the win.
Winner : D\'Angelo Dinero (Really short, and I\'m not sure why they chose for Morgan to be the one that got squashed. Still, it at least gave Dinero a win, so that part works)
Morgan attacks Dinero while he celebrates. Fallaway slam by Morgan. Carbon Footprint connects. Morgan sets Dinero\'s head up against the ring post. Anderson runs out with a chair and holds Morgan back. Anderson tells him to hang on. Anderson throws Dinero into the ring. He attacks Morgan though and starts stomping him in the corner. Morgan runs out. He says Anderson just sealed his fate. Anderson sticks his hand out to Dinero. Dinero gives him a nod, and Anderson walks off.
-Lacey and Velvet are in the back. Velvet asks what kind of explanation Madison could give them for her behavior, especially now that she\'s adding a fourth member to the group. Lacey wants to listen to Madison\'s side of the story. Velvet says ok, and then when she\'s done explaining herself, she\'s going to add an explanation point to that sentence, that being her foot up Madison\'s ass. Sounds hot.
-Madison Rayne is in the ring. She says she is out here to formally protest the decision made by referee Andrew Thomas at Victory Road, when he stripped her of the Knockout\'s title. The stipulation of the match was that if either member of TBP interfered with her match against Angelina Love, she would be disqualified and Angelina would become champion. That didn\'t happen. She\'s demanding that within 7 days of right now, either that decision be reversed and she be given back the title, or she will sue TNA for every penny that it is worth. What\'s that, like 13 pennies. Here comes Velvet and Lacey.
Velvet\'s pissed. Velvet asks what the hell makes Madison think she can bring someone into their group. What the hell is wrong with Madison. Madison tells her to relax and she\'s been taking her dumb blonde pills again. Being the genius that Madison is, she took matters into her own hands. Velvet says Madison must have overdosed on hers. Velvet says this is about Madison saying that she didn\'t need them anymore. Madison says she doesn\'t need you. Velvet says she\'s going to kick Madison\'s ass all over this ring. Lacey separates them, and here comes Angelina Love. She says she doesn\'t know what\'s worst. The bitches who act on The Hills, or the bitches who are in the ring right now. Angelina asks if she thinks she\'s buying anything Velvet\'s saying. Angelina says she can recognize those big boobs anywhere. Velvet asks if she really thinks it was her on that motorcycle. She has never been so insulted. Did you happen to see the dumpy ass on that person. If she doesn\'t want to believe that, believe this. Madison is all hers. Velvet\'s out. Velvet and Lacey walk up the ramp. Velvet says Madison\'s all hers. Madison tells Angelina to get down to the ring and give her back the title. Angelina gets in the ring. Baby wants her belt back. Angelina tells her to try and come get it. Madison hits Angelina. Spear by Angelina. CAT FIGHT!!!! The motorcycle has just rolled in. God does that look corny. The person grabs Angelina nd throws her into the turnbuckle, and is now choking her. Madison takes Angelina and DDT\'s her into the chair. Lacey is just watching on from the ramp. Madison gets on the back of the motorcycle with the mystery woman, and they ride off.
-Hardy is in the back. He says it\'s him vs Lethal tonight, and the question is if Jay Lethal can beat Jeff Hardy.
Match 6 : Jay Lethal vs Jeff Hardy
Wow, this episode of Impact has really been flying by. I mean that in a good way too.
Headlock by Hardy. Lethal pushes him off but gets hit with a shoulder block. Lethal goes for a monkey flip, but Hardy leg drops the legs. Pin but only two. Lethal elevates Hardy to the apron and hits him with a springboard dropkick. Suicide dive by Lethal connects. The ECW guys are in the crowd. Lethal throws Hardy back in the ring. Pin but only two. Twist of Fate by Hardy countered into a hiptoss/basement dropkick combo. Lethal floats over Hardy but runs into an elbow. Whisper in the Wind connects. Both guys trade shots now. Hardy counters an irish whip with a slam. Reverse atomic drop, legdrop to the groin and a basement dropkick by Hardy. Hardyac Arrest countered by Lethal as he kicks Hardy off. Lethal\'s on the apron now. Springboard dropkick connects. Pin but only two. Tenay has confirmed that the Guns are facing Beer Money in a Street Fight next week, along with Angle vs Hernandez. Hardy counters the Lethal Combination with a Twist of Fate. Swanton connects for the win.
Winner : Jeff Hardy (Alright match between these two, though they could do better with more time. Still, I question this follow up after Lethal\'s win over Flair. This wasn\'t really the route I would go down, but I\'ll wait to see what happens)
-Flair is in the ring with Styles and Kaz. Flair says he\'s talking about the two first members of Fortune. He knew AJ had it. AJ, the face of TNA. And Kazarian is a movie star. Here comes Desmond Wolfe. Flair asks what he wants. Wolfe says he knows the American\'s don\'t like giving the English credit for anything, but if anyone deserves to be in Fortune, it\'s him. He tells Flair to listen when he\'s talking to him. Here comes Abyss, and hes got Janice. Fortune and Wolfe bail out. Abyss picks up the mic. He tells RVD to come to him. And here we go. Rob comes out to the ring
Abyss says it\'s time for him to share the plans that they have for him. He\'s said it for the past few weeks, and he\'ll reiterate it tonight. Very soon, they are coming to TNA. And when they get here, they are taking TNA over. And there is nothing that Rob, or Dixie, or anyone of these ignorant sheep are going to be able to do about it. They have asked Abyss to pave the way for them, and in that process, they have instructed him to get the TNA World title off of Rob. So Rob, they laid out a blueprint. So here\'s the question. They\'re going to take his girl Janice, and they\'re going to hang her 15 feet high above the ring, and he and Rob are going to have the most extreme match in the history of pro wrestling. His girl Janice told him that she wants a piece of Rob\'s ass. Woah. So the only thing left is the when and the where. But how about he and Rob get extreme. Rob grabs the mic from Abyss. He says he knows what the title means to everybody. He\'s going to try and not take this personally, but this is his. You know what Rob loves about being World Champion. It\'s the standards he gets to set. Rob hits Abyss, and here we go. Right hands and dropkicks by Rob. Knee\'s by Rob to the head of Abyss. Liger kick connects. Rob mounts Abyss in the corner and hits him with the rights, but Abyss pushes him off. Boot by Abyss. Chokeslam by The Monster. Abyss picks up Janice. Mick Foley is on the stage. Abyss is starring at him. The ECW guys are in the ring. They\'re taking out Abyss! Security is lightly jogging to the ring. The ECW guys take them out. GORE!!! The TNA locker room\'s coming out (though not many). More security and refs come out, but to no avail. Here come more guys, but they\'re being taken out one by one. RVD is standing in the corner. D\'Lo Brown is out, but even he gets taken out. AL Snow is out too. RVD is helping taking out everyone. Al Snow is helping too. This is madness. Brother Devon\'s out, and he\'s helping out the ECW guys. Jeff Jarrett comes running out, but no one\'s stopping. Dixie\'s watching on in the crowd. Dixie gets a mic and tells everyone to stop. She says she invited them. That\'s how we\'re gonna close. I\'ll let you guys judge this ending (though I thought it was pretty sweet).